Let’s talk low sexual desire. It happens to us all (on and off) at some point in our lives. It is important to note that when there are extra life stressors or a big life change, your sexual desire can be the first thing to go. As unfortunate as this is, the goal isn’t to NEVER have these dips in desire (again it’s totally normal), the goal is to be able to handle this with your partner in a healthy way. Here are my top tips for low sexual desire.
- Get sex on your brain
A lot of times when I see this in my therapy room, the first thing I ask is how often are you thinking about sex or how often is sex on your brain. Chances are, if you are never thinking about it, it’s not a priority to you. Get yourself some erotic literature, listen to educational podcasts that revolve around sex, spend a few minutes a day fantasizing, etc. The more you are thinking about it, the more you will be open to receiving or initiating it.
2. Learn your sexual desire type
There are two sexual desire types – spontaneous and responsive. Knowing what yours and your sexual partner’s desire types is so important and can help you both understand more about yourself and the sexual dynamic you both have going on. I have a colleague who did a great job describing these two types of sexual desires – you can watch it here!
3. COMMUNICATE
My biggest tip for you, if you are experiencing low sexual desire, is to communicate this with your partner. Your partner cannot read your mind. Working WITH your partner and sex life is better than working AGAINST it. Come up with a game plan together on what you both can do to help increase your desire.
If these tips for low sexual desire don’t work for you, remember, a sex therapist is a great first step in helping. This is something sex therapists see often and they have the resources and tools to help you get back to your equilibrium. As a certified sex therapist, I would love to help you if you are experiencing this. To request an appointment, click here!